About constructive confrontation

Principles

1. Talk to the Right Person (who is capable of making the decision on the matter)
2. Timely, i.e. immediately after noticing the matter of discussion.
   1. Avoid the ‘attacking the past’, focus on the future, on reaching the future when the issue is solved.
   2. The leading question is ‘What can we do now?’
   3. How to do so it doesn’t happen again.
3. Data and facts support
   1. It helps to avoid interpretations
   2. The leading question: “What is it expressed in?”
4. Focus on the issue, not on the personality or judgement. (similar to core differences in feedback types, see About feedback).

Examples of unconstructive confrontation:

• “Why haven’t you deployed a new version of the product to a production environment?” (The principles)
• “I knew you will not make it to the production”? (If you knew, why would not you come earlier?)

Step by step guidance

1. Preparation
   1. What is a problem?
      1. How does it impact the work?
      2. If not addressed, what might happen in future?
   2. What is the goal?
      1. What will be in the end?
      2. Don’t mix the goal and solutions popping up in your mind.
   3. The view from an opponent’s side
      1. positive intention (Milton-ericson)
      2. best available option
      3. detect the trigger that changed the behaviour
      4. 4 reasons on why people don’t do the expected.
2. Communication step
   1. find the point of agreement
3. Come up with a solution to the issue
   1. consider options from different parties
   2. fix the agreement
4. Control of the agreement

---

Disclaimer